Don't listen to Rachael Ray!

November 30, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine had a couple of tips that made me laugh. (Click on the picture to see it enlarged.) The tagline says "Drop these lines and score some airline perks."

The first one, with a picture of a line at the ticket counter shows a woman and says: Try empathy: "I'm an ex-flight attendant and feel your pain. Got any seats up front?"

Oh, no, honey, no--please don't try that line. Trust me, it won't work!

First of all, a Customer Service Representative (CSR) will dislike you immediately! Most think the Flight Attendants have it pretty easy and are spoiled. Telling them that you used to be one, well...they are likely to move your seat to a middle one in Coach, in the very back next to the lavs.

Secondly, the airlines have real rules that the CSRs have to adhere to--and a real order as to who gets upgraded and why. First Class may have 24 empty seats, and every seat in Coach may be full-and no one may get upgraded. The agents have to follow their rules and if no one meets those, then no one gets moved into First Class. (Of course, this allows room for the employees on the Standby List to get onboard and into First Class, but, that's another post for another time!)

The next caption says, "It's our honeymoon!" Provided you look and act the part, this ruse may at least get you a free drink." Really, Rachael Ray, really? You encourage this deceptive maneuver to get a free drink? It's $6, for crissakes! Cut loose with some cash and save your integrity, okay?

Finally, the last caption says, "I'm the head of a Fortune 500 company." Have the airline agent note that in your file before you fly."

Dear Mr. Fake CEO,

If, indeed you were a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, your Executive Secretary, working with your Travel Department, would already have contracts in place with your preferred airline, and the information would have already been in your PNR (Passenger Name Record).

Sincerely,
Blondie

There are so many restrictions as to what airline employees can and can't do. If every First Class seat is empty, I cannot upgrade you. The Purser may be able to do so. Upgrading in inappropriate circumstances puts the Purser in a situation that some airlines refer to as a "theft of services." Your butt being more comfortable is probably not worth her job to the Purser.

Free drinks--maybe a little easier to come by--but, if you ask me for one, or try to hint for one, not happening. Sorry, that's just the way it is. We have specific rules for this, too.

So, there ya go...do not trust these articles trying to tell you to scam your way to something you haven't paid for. Plus, your Mama taught you better!

Best holiday travel tips!

November 20, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

This is a re-post from last year...thought it was worth a repeat as we head into the holidays. Hope you think so, too!

Ahhhh! It's that special time of the year...the weather has turned cold, the holidays are upon us, you are bundling up the kiddies and flying to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving dinner....

WHAT?? Are you out of your mind?

(Pardon me! I digressed...)

Traveling these days isn't easy! Weather delays, mechanical problems, crews out of position, cancellations--a plethora of issues can occur! And, none of it your fault! I posted my Top Three Travel Tips earlier this year, and have a few more with families in mind. Here are some of my best Flight Attendant holiday travel tips to help ease the pain of traveling and flying with kids this Christmas or Thanksgiving week:

Print your boarding pass before you leave home.

In fact, most airlines allow you to check in 24 hours prior to departure. Do this. The sooner you check in, the less likely it is you and your family will be involuntarily bumped from an oversold flight. And, trust me, your flight is oversold. And, when everyone who purchased a ticket shows up, and no one volunteers to be bumped from the flight, the last people to check in will be the people who are left behind. And, since all the flights will be packed to the gills for the holiday travel, with no spare seats, it may take you days to get to Grandma's house.

Also, with your boarding pass in hand, you do not need to go to the ticket counter to check in, unless you are checking bags. You can go straight to the gate, via the TSA security checkpoint.


Arrive at the airport with plenty of time to spare.

The last thing you want on your plate is to be rushed and harried. It takes time to find a parking spot, time to unload the bags and the kids, time to wait for the parking shuttle, time for the shuttle to make its' way to the departure area, time to unload the shuttle at each airline (yours will be the last stop, of course!) and time to figure out what gate you are going to and where it is. Give yourself at least 30 minutes more than you think you need.

As you are waiting for the parking shuttle to pick you up, take a cell phone picture of where you parked--or send yourself a text message. That way, you will know where you parked when you come back.

Dress appropriately.

Planes are cold. Most of the Flight Attendants are pre-menopausal and having hot flashes. Besides, we don't control the temperature and frankly, think it is funny when you show up on your November flight from Miami-New York City in a tank top, and expect to be warm. That's right, we'll be talkin' about you at the bar tonight....

Blankets are scarce on domestic flights. And, with the swine flu making the rounds, carriers are putting even fewer blankets than before. Many carriers are charging for them (which is actually a good deal--it is yours, it is in a compact travel case, and it is new and clean and relatively cheap.) Layers work best. Every Flight Attendant I know carries a pashmina or sweater when they travel. Bring a sweatshirt for the kiddies--lets them get all toasty warm and fall asleep.

Pack smartly for the TSA security checkpoints.

The TSA folks have actually done a pretty good job on their website with pointers of their own for getting through the lines with ease. If you don't fly very often, it is probably a good idea to review this page. One of the things travelers must do now is pack liquids and gels into a container that is 3 ounces or less, and all of those containers must fit into a quart-sized zip top bag. And, they are serious about this. If you try to get your 4 ounce bottle of tres expensive perfume through the checkpoint, they will confiscate it. Remember, though, each passenger can take a quart sized baggie through the checkpoint, including your kids! You can pack your big liquid containers in your checked baggage (requiring a visit to the ticket counter) or just down-size for your holiday trip.
Many of us have several contact lens cases laying around. One idea is to boil it for a few minutes, and after it is cooled down, put dabs of your creams or make-up in it. Could be just the right amount to get you through security and the weekend. Once you have cleared security, you are able to purchase liquids in any size container and bring them with you on the plane.


Fellow Flight Attendant Heather Poole gives you tips about exactly how to get through the TSA checkpoints here.

Speaking of bottled water...

With the first beverage service, the Flight Attendants are pouring out of bottles of water. On subsequent water services, you may see a pitcher. This usually indicates that the water is "Galley Springs." It also may indicate that there is no more bottled water onboard. Perfectly safe to drink, according to the airlines and the government--two very trustworthy sources. I don't drink it. I bring my own. While it can be expensive to stock up on water at the airport, depending on how long your flight it, I would consider it. And, you really don't want you or your kids to get dehydrated. That makes for a guaranteed visit to Crankyville.

Protect your family from the dirty airplane.

In an almost perfect world, an airplane would still be a germ haven. In the not-even-close-to-perfect world of airlines, the planes may look clean, but are soooo not! That cushion gets cleaned every now and then, and the carpet may be vacuumed every night, it is still a mosh-pit of bacteria.

I bring little footies that go over my socks when I take my shoes off. And, if I have to use the lavatory (bathroom) I put my shoes back on...that isn't water on the floor of the lav, y'all!

I also carry a pack of Splash 'n Go with me. Or, baby wipes do the same thing. You will want to clean your hands, as well as your children's, if any part of the aircraft was touched. Trust me on this!

Baby changing tables

Most, but not all, airplanes have a changing table in the lavatory. If your arms are full of a fussy baby and a diaper bag, ask the Flight Attendant if she'd put the table down for you--we're happy to help out. Be sure you have brought a changing pad or something to place between your baby and the table.


Pack snacks

Unless you are in First or Business, your flight is not going to have much, if any, food to eat. Many airlines have Buy Onboard--or "BOB" as we call it. My airline actually has pretty decent BOB--some fresh, some boxed. This BOB cost $6 for a boxed snack and $9 for fresh snack tray. Many airlines accept cash and credit cards for purchasing BOB and adult beverages--and some only accept credit cards and some only accept cash. Carry both, or call your airline in advance to find out.

Consider bringing your own snacks onboard. Cheese holds up well, even out of the refrigerator for a few hours. Fruit, cheese and a hard bread make for a mini-picnic onboard. Pre-cut apples dipped in peanut butter are great. Other ideas include nuts, dried fruit--or fruit that holds up well (bananas, no; oranges, yes) and turkey jerky. Personally, I'd try to do healthy so the kids don't get amped up on sugar. On a plane, that is ugly for everyone--your neighbors, the crew, your kids, and most especially, you!



Keep 'em busy!

Gotta Gameboy? Bring it! DVD player? Check! Don't forget the earphones, though! Planes are noisy and parents seem to turn the DVD player volume up as loud as they can so Little Johnny can watch Barney sing "The Wheels on the Bus" over and over and over. This will not win you friends among your seatmates. Bring earphones for the kids! And, if you have more than one kid watching the DVD, buy a $4 splitter for the earphones so they can share! Your neighbors and your nerves will appreciate it!

Other random thoughts...

Most airplanes have a "sick sack" or "barf bag" in the seat pocket in front of you. If your kid gets sick, please use it, and call the Flight Attendant for help. We have ginger ale, which sometimes helps soothes a sick tummy. And, we can make an ice pack if you need it. Please do NOT place the full barf bag into the seat pocket--call us, let us help!

Have you seen this CARES harness? Might be too late to get one for Thanksgiving travel, but Christmas is near! For kids 22-44 pounds, it takes the hassle out of lugging around a car seat. My suggestion is to use it for take-off and landing, and use the regular seat belt during the flight.

If you need a baby bottle warmed up, ask the Flight Attendant--but give us plenty of time! We don't have microwaves onboard, so we may have to use a pot of hot water to warm it. Also, on some regional jets, there isn't any hot water onboard, so we can't warm it at all!

Finally...

Bring your patience. If there are delays because of weather, you can't expect to call up Grandma only to hear that it is sunny and clear there. The inbound aircraft (the one you are waiting for) is probably coming from somewhere else, and weather anywhere in its' path can cause a delay for you. The gate agent isn't lying to you--she is telling you what the "Ops" (Operations) people are reporting to her via the computer. The Flight Attendant isn't lying to you. She really cannot call the gate from the aircraft and have them hold the flight. And, she doesn't know whether or not your plane will be there when you get there. Most things are out of our control. Taking your frustration out on the Flight Attendant, Gate Agent, or Reservations Rep diminishes their desire to give you the most they can. Or, as we say in the South, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."


Traveling these days isn't easy, and traveling with your family during the crowded holiday crush can feel next to impossible while you're in the middle of it. As one of our instructors at Barbie Boot Camp (Flight Attendant training) used to say, "Control the things you can control." You cannot make the weather go away, prevent a ground stop, or fix a broken airplane. You can take a deep breath, listen to the Gate Agent's announcements and determine if you need to call your airline's reservation number (that you have oh-so-conveniently put into your cell phone.)

What's that? Me? What am I doing for the holiday?? Oh, I'm driving! And leaving on Tuesday afternoon, in hopes of avoiding the dreaded traffic on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving!

I hope your holiday is warm, and family-filled and delay-free!


Blondie

Soldiers and their dogs

November 14, 2009 1 Comments A+ a-

Grab a tissue and watch a couple of these videos.....my cats won't mind!

Blondie


Purser, schmurser!

November 11, 2009 4 Comments A+ a-

Last week, I watched the days tick away as I sat at home on Ready Reserve. I wasn't needed on Thursday, Friday or Saturday. As I watched The List, I knew I was going to be called for an oh-dark-thirty check-in on Sunday, and my Company didn't disappoint, calling me at 10 pm to give me my next day's assignment. I was even smart enough to go to bed at 8 pm that night and get a mostly-good night's sleep--which was a good thing, as I needed my energy with the Purser I was flying with!

Since I was only "good" for one day, I was assigned a Denver (DEN) turn out of Baltimore (BWI). (Here in the Washington area, we cover all three airports: Washington Dulles (IAD) where the bulk of our flying occurs; Washington Reagan (DCA), and BWI). I would fly the first leg of the turn with one crew, and change planes to another crew for the return flight.

At BWI, our Purser had a funky name that sounded like "Taco"....and she had a bad attitude before we even got started! I worked the #2 position on the 757 in First Class with Taco, while two super-sweet stews, Ashley and Sharon (aka "Meemaw") worked in the back. They had flown with Taco before and knew her drill...

Our sign-in was 0613...and our departure was 0713. Bright and early in the morning, right? With 24 passengers in our First Class, I decided to make a nice pot of coffee--while doing our pre-departure beverage service, someone would probably ask for a cup at that time in the morning, right? Taco refused the coffee, saying she wasn't going to "let" anyone have anything until she decided they could. (Huh?) So, she did pre-departures with an inch of orange juice or inch of water in the cups...not even half filled up. Weird--and stingy--and embarrasing--and not very nice to our best passengers. She refused to allow a woman to put her sewing machine in the closet--it was too heavy to lift into the overhead bin. (I hooked the lady up with the closet space when I acted like I didn't know Taco had refused her the space...) She would not take a First Class gentleman's coat when he asked her to hang it up, please. She told him, "The other Flight Attendant is doing coats and jackets." (meaning me) and then she just stood in the galley, doing NOT A THING.

During the breakfast service, she worked the galley and I worked the aisle. She didn't set anything up--not the beverage cart, or juice and water and glassware--everything was in the carrier boxes like when we boarded. I have to give her credit, she did put all the meals in the ovens (Bet that wore her out...) She helped me plate--oh, maybe--four or five meals. Other than that, this chick stared at the tiny 3-inch screen on the video equipment and watch the inflight movie, "Julie and Julia" without sound. She delivered not one drink or breakfast tray, did not refill any drinks, nor pick-up any of the breakfast trays when the folks were finished eating them--she just stood at her jumpseat and watched the movie.

After the service, she pulled out her school books--she told us in briefing that she was working on her Master's degree, so she could get out of the flying business and become a counselor--and sat on her jumpseat during the flight working on her schoolwork.

And, at that moment--I was no longer stressed that I had basically done the entire service for 24 by myself. Nope...it all came together and made sense--her aversion to work, her venom towards passengers, and bitterness toward the Company. Naaaa-aah...I didn't need her help--I was going to let her get as much of her schoolwork done as possible. I want her to graduate with honors as soon as possible. And, to get a high-paying job away from the airline and away from our passengers.

You're welcome!

Waiting...

November 06, 2009 1 Comments A+ a-

I'm sitting "Ready Reserve" at home today--just waiting for The Call. I was on Reserve yesterday, here at home, and didn't get called. Now, I'm kinda itchin' for a trip.

Just checked The List. I am #6 on The List for a 3-day trip. Just checked The Trips, and as of now, there is only one--a 4-day trip to Dubai.

I'll keep you posted...


Blondie


London for pizza!

November 03, 2009 1 Comments A+ a-

Had a great trip to London! I worked in Business going over with a London-based crew. Since I was the only one not based there, I was the only Flight Attendant going to the hotel. And, that was just fine, because I love being in London and am very comfortable finding my way around.

We worked the day flight over, so we arrived in London around 9:30 pm. Add another hour or so to the hotel in Central London--I checked into my room--and was given Room 1815. Took a little while to find it--it was behind this door (doh!) marked incorrectly:


Torrential rains the next morning made it perfect to sleep in. The skies cleared up a little afternoon, so I headed out for a bite to eat.

A block from the hotel I passed the Hyde Park mansions.











I walked through Marks and Spencer on my way over to the Edgware Road Tube Station. Interesting the way the shoes are displayed there-different from the way they are displayed in a US store. After I snapped this picture, I had a Security guy follow me through the rest of the store. With the law following me, I made sure to stop and look at everything!!



Down the escalator to the the Bakerloo Line, which will take me right to Picadilly Circus, and only a few blocks from my favorite restaurant near there.


Getting closer...





Hey! Did you lose your tennis shoes?







Lower Regent Street, just a couple more blocks to New Burlington Street to....






...a Speck pizza at Strada. Described on the menu as: Slices of northern Italian smoked mountain ham, gorgonzola, tomato, mozzarella and rocket. (Rocket is arugula.)

Deeeee-lish!


Flying back Monday morning, I worked the Business Galley--we rocked out two hot meals and had fun doing it. I arrived home yesterday around 1 pm...and was in bed for a few hours a little later. Fun trip for me!


Blondie

London snob

November 01, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

See that building at Picadilly Circus with the flags flying on it? (Double-click on it to see it better.) It has become a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. Bleh. Excuse my while I go hack up a hairball....




I don't know...I just don't like it there. Any other tool in the box called capitalism, sure. I love the Boots store there, and the Gap...but Ripley's? It just doesn't feel London enough for me...



Ack!








Blondie