Don't listen to Rachael Ray!

Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine had a couple of tips that made me laugh. (Click on the picture to see it enlarged.) The tagline says "Drop these lines and score some airline perks."

The first one, with a picture of a line at the ticket counter shows a woman and says: Try empathy: "I'm an ex-flight attendant and feel your pain. Got any seats up front?"

Oh, no, honey, no--please don't try that line. Trust me, it won't work!

First of all, a Customer Service Representative (CSR) will dislike you immediately! Most think the Flight Attendants have it pretty easy and are spoiled. Telling them that you used to be one, well...they are likely to move your seat to a middle one in Coach, in the very back next to the lavs.

Secondly, the airlines have real rules that the CSRs have to adhere to--and a real order as to who gets upgraded and why. First Class may have 24 empty seats, and every seat in Coach may be full-and no one may get upgraded. The agents have to follow their rules and if no one meets those, then no one gets moved into First Class. (Of course, this allows room for the employees on the Standby List to get onboard and into First Class, but, that's another post for another time!)

The next caption says, "It's our honeymoon!" Provided you look and act the part, this ruse may at least get you a free drink." Really, Rachael Ray, really? You encourage this deceptive maneuver to get a free drink? It's $6, for crissakes! Cut loose with some cash and save your integrity, okay?

Finally, the last caption says, "I'm the head of a Fortune 500 company." Have the airline agent note that in your file before you fly."

Dear Mr. Fake CEO,

If, indeed you were a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, your Executive Secretary, working with your Travel Department, would already have contracts in place with your preferred airline, and the information would have already been in your PNR (Passenger Name Record).

Sincerely,
Blondie

There are so many restrictions as to what airline employees can and can't do. If every First Class seat is empty, I cannot upgrade you. The Purser may be able to do so. Upgrading in inappropriate circumstances puts the Purser in a situation that some airlines refer to as a "theft of services." Your butt being more comfortable is probably not worth her job to the Purser.

Free drinks--maybe a little easier to come by--but, if you ask me for one, or try to hint for one, not happening. Sorry, that's just the way it is. We have specific rules for this, too.

So, there ya go...do not trust these articles trying to tell you to scam your way to something you haven't paid for. Plus, your Mama taught you better!