May I bring you a drink?

December 22, 2008 6 Comments A+ a-

On our flight from Washington to Denver on Thursday, John and I were working the beverage cart. It was fairly uneventful, like most days. Smile, ask, napkin, cup, ice, can, pass it, and smile again is normally how I do it for every passenger.

"May I bring you a drink?" I asked the lady in 18B? Barely lifting her head from her book to look at my apparently hideous face, she mumbles, "Seven-Up." Apologetically, I respond with "I'm sorry, we don't carry Seven Up, how about a Sprite?"

Well, OH MY GAWD! With her slightly lifted head out of her book, her scrunched face said it all: Sprite?? Are you kidding me? SPRITE?? It was if I was telling her she had to drink octopus blood mixed with the saliva of the guy in front of her, and brewed into a tea of sewage!

Her nose turned up at me, and her expression immediately changed to scorn, then pure hate. The look on her face dressed me down as if I were evil incarnate. How dare I offer a Sprite and not a Seven-Up! How bold of me, the apparent all-powerful person at my airline that chooses the beverages, not to select her precious Seven-Up?!

Lady, please! Chill out! I am not the "deciderer" of soda pop on the airplane! My airline chooses Coca-Cola products, not me. In my world, the only thing I can decide is a cup or a can. Seriously. And how much ice goes into your cup. That's about it. Oh, and how to get you out of a fuel-fed fire onboard an airplane. But, really, other than that, I have about as much power as a 9-volt battery.

After apologizing and telling her I don't have her beverage of choice, I can see her disdain when she brushes me aside with a look of scorn. No longer willing to look into my repugnant eyes, she barely mutters, "water". I pour her a glass of water, and hand it to her. Of course, she will not allow herself to take it from my gruesome hand, and I lean waaa-ay over to place it on her tray table.

Pulling myself together, we move the cart along to the next row. "Would you like a drink?" I ask the man in 19A? With a nod, he responds "Pepsi, please."

Blondie
Blondie

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Anonymous
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December 22, 2008 at 5:18 PM delete

FA-lesson part one:
you can never, absolutely f***ing NEVER please all of them! lol
my favourite beverage order was an italian gentleman ordering "horse urine"...and he was quite surprised when i offered ginger ale instead...at least it would have been the same coulour
Lebkuchen-greetings from Austria,
Claudia

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Anthony
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December 22, 2008 at 6:09 PM delete

Yep! That about sums it up ......

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DUNCAN
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December 22, 2008 at 6:39 PM delete

Doesn't that kind of shit just burn your ass? You would have thought you threw battery acid in her face....maybe you should have. I remember once years ago when we served free food in coach, an elderly man asked me for catsup, when I told him we didn't have any, he got pissed at me, I told him this was a 757 not a 7-11.

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December 23, 2008 at 12:46 AM delete

Your post is so funny!! Especially the part where you write:

It was if I was telling her she had to drink octopus blood mixed with the saliva of the guy in front of her, and brewed into a tea of sewage!

Its true, some people can be so rude, I don't understand how they can live like that. Id feel so terrible to talk to someone in such a rude way...

viva coca cola!!!!

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Kerry
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December 30, 2008 at 9:55 PM delete

Remember when we had Pepsi instead of Coke for a while? Oh, were people pissed! Bring your own soda if you're that particular!

Great post!

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