Who knew?

July 27, 2009 6 Comments A+ a-

After flying an international trip, with 300 or more people locked up in an aluminum tube for 10, 12, 14 or more hours, I am told that the plane gets a little funky. (Duh! Remember, I am one of those 300+ people locked up tight in the plane.) But, just how funky it gets, I didn't know...

Our Customer Service Reps (CSRs) are the ones that actually open the plane door when we get to the gate. They are the ones to break the hermetic seal of human-ness. One of our CSRs, Linda, tells me that when she "pops the door" she holds her breath, and turns her head away. "It is, " she says, "like opening a can of ass...."

I don't even know what to say now....


Blondie

Drum roll, please...

July 26, 2009 1 Comments A+ a-

Excellent news! My Company worked really hard to avoid any involuntary furloughs--we were overstaffed by 2150 Flight Attendants. They offered voluntary furloughs and partner flying as a way to lessen the pain. The good news is that not one Flight Attendant had to be INvoluntarily furloughed. The great news is...I was awarded 6 months of partner flying with my classmate Sue!! This means we split our month of Reserve in half. In my world, this is nirvana!

Just as I started to type the The Call came...it is almost 9:30 in the morning, and I fully expected to get a call in the middle of the night--it was a gift to wake up a little while ago and still be home. It's one of those feelings where you check the telephone to make sure it still works and that you didn't miss a call in the middle of the night!

Anyway, The Voice gave me my assignment: Frankfurt tonight. Maybe some of my crew will want to go to my favorite place there, Im Herzen Afrikas. I was there last July and haven't been back since!

Blondie

It's a numbers game...

July 16, 2009 3 Comments A+ a-

This is a copy of part of the letter I received a month ago. It tells me that, based on my seniority at my airline, I am subject to being furloughed (laid off) on August 31.

I am so low on the totem pole that there is only one thing I can do: pray. I don't want to lose my job. The Company has offered voluntary furloughs to those that want to not fly for awhile. They have also offered partnership flying, which is job sharing with another Flight Attendant. I signed up for the voluntary furlough--but I am so junior that it doesn't make much of a difference. I also signed up for partner flying with my classmate from Barbie Boot Camp, Sue. The partner flying would be the best situation that could occur for me.

So, out of 16,000 Flight Attendants, the Company needs 2,150 to volunteer to furlough, or to partner fly. The deadline to volunteer is 0800 tomorrow morning, and we'll know how it all shakes out the following week. As I write this, 1,222 have volunteered to be furloughed in the last 4 weeks. (Including me.)

Only 16 hours left and an additional 928 volunteers needed...



Blondie

Stupidity is alive and well...

July 09, 2009 1 Comments A+ a-




Received this in an e-mail tonight...now I've seen everything!












Breast implants for your tattoo???!!












Really?




Seriously?



(shakin' my head...)




Blondie

Notes from the cocktail napkin...

July 08, 2009 4 Comments A+ a-

On many of my trips, I take little notes on a cocktail napkin (or, as we call them at my airline, serviettes). Each day brings new things, new people and new circumstances--it is a way I use to remember what happened on that trip. The wrinkled serviette is shoved in and out of my pocket so many times a trip--as I scribble my notes all over it.





Last week's serviette was fairly typical and not unusual at all. So, here are a few things that transpired on my trips.





A woman's husband had died and she was on a flight to get back home, with her sister. Apparently she had shared her story with a couple in the same row. That couple insisted on paying for the cocktails the newly widowed woman and her sister ordered, for the whole flight. They only ordered a couple of drinks each, but it was a kind gesture on the part of the husband and wife, their new airplane friends.
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On one of my flights, a twenty-something woman was in the aft galley for a bit, just sorta waiting around. Not unusual--many people come to the back just to stretch their legs a bit. I went through the aisle and offered water to our passengers...a few minutes later, I went back up and down the aisle collecting trash. Finished with my immediate tasks, I started to pour myself a glass of water in the galley, when the young woman, pointed to the lavatory door and asked me, "Is anyone in there?" I looked at the door, with the green sign that said vacant on it, smiled and just said, "No, there is no one in there."

(By the way, that small conversation with a Flight Attendant occurs every single day on a gazillion flights.)
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In a similar vein, another young, twenty-something woman came back to the aft galley and stared at the lavatory door. She looked at the door, then looked at me, pointed to the door and asked, "Is this one open?" I just replied, "The one that says "occupied"? No, it's not open." Then we both looked at each other and just cracked up at her missing the obvious red occupied sign on the door.

Today's helpful airplane hint from your Flight Attendant (just another service I provide!): Green means go, red means stop. Uh, huh--you're welcome!
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Me: (placing serviette on tray table in front of my passenger) "Would you like something to drink?"

Lady Passenger: "No, thanks, nothing to drink."

Me: (removing serviette and starting towards the next passenger)

Same Lady Passenger: "Just a tomato juice, with ice and can I have a lemon with it, please."

My next helpful airplane hint: No means no!
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On our departure from Orange County (SNA) last week, we had to wait a few minutes because of the airport's noise curfew-no take-offs prior to 7 a.m. We were about 10 minutes early. While sitting on our jumpseats, the Flight Attendant call light sounded. I got up, located the light and went to see what the problem was. The lady asked me if I would call the pilots and tell them to stop blowing the jet exhaust into the cabin. She didn't like the smell of it.

(Only in Orange County, ya'll!)
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Lastly from my "notes on a napkin"...here is one I don't condone--I merely report the story.

We were boarding one of the transcons I worked in the last couple of weeks. On the 757, passengers usually enter at Door 2L, and First Class folks make a left turn and folks in the village turn right to go to their seats. On the 757, two Flight Attendants work at the boarding door, with one of them assisting in First Class as needed (coats, drinks, etc.)

One of our Super-Duper Flyers appeared a bit miffed--he did not get his upgrade and started working the #4-let's call her Cathy-who was working First Class with the Purser. Sitting in Row 10 in the coach section, he rang his Flight Attendant call light--to request a glass of orange juice, and a seat in First if it was available--while we still had 100+ people on the jetbridge waiting to board the plane. He went on to explain to Cathy that he was a Super-Duper Flyer and deserved to be in First as he had paid so much money for his ticket.

Jumpseat Confession

Truth is, at that point during boarding, we are all about getting folks onboard, settled and getting the door closed for an on-time departure. Not much else. Unless you have a medical emergency, don't use the call light during boarding. Okay, maybe if there are duplicate seats, or something like that, but don't use the call light to make requests we can't give (upgrades)--especially while we're boarding!


Cathy went on to explain that she would be happy to make sure he received some orange juice when the beverage cart was pulled out, and would he like some water for right now? Oh, and "I'm sorry, First Class is completely full." He takes the sport coat on his lap, and holds it out to her with the command, "Here. Hang this."

Taking his coat to the closet up front, she then went back to her boarding position. We're all "buttoned up" with the safety demo showing on the video during our taxi-out, and he rings his call light again-this time to check and be sure there wasn't an upgrade available. Cathy assures him that there wasn't one.

Once airborne, he was a little short with me as we came down the aisle with the beverage cart--but nothing too much. During the flight, he went forward towards the First Class galley--which happens to be through a dividing mesh curtain and right next to the cockpit door. Cathy stopped him in the aisle--he was coming up to use the lavatory there--and she redirected him to the lavatory located in coach, behind 6 AB. During the flight, he would go right up to the dividing curtain, hold out his glass, and request more orange juice or water from the First Class galley. (People! Whether in First Class or Coach, the orange juice, water and lavatory are all the same!)

Just prior to landing, Cathy was handing out coats and jackets to the First Class passengers. Before she had a chance to pass all the coats out, the call light went off again. It was Mr. Super-Duper Flyer in coach. Cathy walked to his row where he demanded "Bring me my coat!"

Oh, no he di-in't...

At this point, Cathy had just about enough of this man and his attitude. She went forward, put on a pile of pretty pink lipstick, kissed a napkin, leaving a big ol' lip print on it. She placed the napkin in his coat pocket (presumably for his wife to find) and returned the coat to him, with a big ol' smile, said "Here ya go, Sir!"

I'm just' sayin'....



My View 1 year ago: The week that was...

My View 2 years ago Bonjour, ya'll!

Blondie

A nice surprise, for a change!

July 03, 2009 0 Comments A+ a-

On Wednesday night, just before midnight, The Voice called to give me a trip. Well, if the Crew Desk is calling at midnight, that can only mean one thing: I have to be at work at oh-dark-thirty, right???

WRONG!!!! The Voice called to give me a three day trip, with a sign-in time of 11:19 the next day--eleven hours notice!! Ni-ice! I just hope that is a trend with the Crew Desk that will continue...it was definitely a good surprise!

Yesterday, I did an Orlando (MCO) turn...while inflight, the Captain called and said he had a "love note" from the Crew desk for me. Via ACARS, I was being notified that my scheduled trip was being changed. Instead of going to Denver (DEN) I was going back to Washington (IAD), then to ORD for the 18 hour overnight.

Today, I'm working one leg to San Francisco (SFO) on a 767-my favorite aircraft to work-with a 14 hour layover. Tomorrow, one leg back to IAD and I should be home in time to see the fireworks.

Not a bad lil' trip!


Blondie

The World's Worst Gate Agent Finally Located!

July 01, 2009 2 Comments A+ a-

Behold this very bad photograph (I have airbrushed out the face )....please note it is of a woman working the gate that my grandbaby arrived at last week.

Now, why would I take a picture of a gate agent in an airport? Simply because she is the single worst airline employee I have ever encountered in my life. Her piss-poor attitude, demeaning tone and overall surliness are unparalleled.

My precious six year old grandson had to sit on a plane and wait for almost 30 minutes because she did not call for an escort for my unaccompanied minor (UM). That's all she had to do--was pick up the phone, right there at her podium, and press a couple of buttons and move her mouth and make sound come out. Easy-peasy, right?

Not that she didn't know he was on his way there--I checked to see which of the doorways he'd be arriving through (there are two at this particular gate) before he landed. I realize that having to actually mutter a few words can be exhausting for her--and she could have merely pointed to the correct doorway if talking was too much. After waiting about 10 minutes after all the other passengers had deplaned, I had the colossal nerve to ask her if I could get an update on my UM. The very loud sigh she exhaled and the eye rolling must have really worn her out--but she was able to finally mutter "He's on the plane." (Well, no shit, Sherlock.)

Not that she had anyone else in line at her podium. Not that there was tons of paperwork that needed to be done to get the little boy off the aircraft. Not that she was studying the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Not that I was asking her to do something unsafe or out of her job description. She was just standing there--not even tap-tap-tapping on the computer--just standing there like a huge, useless bump on a log.

You know, I could forgive it if this was unusual--but, I see this agent almost every time I am at my base here in Washington. And, she is always the same.

Yep, I have located the world's worst airline gate agent. And, I sure hope you don't have to ever, ever, ever deal with her.

My View 1 year ago: 757 Fitness Training




Blondie